Recently I had two interesting experiences that I think illustrate both a few of the many things I love about Laos and the challenges of living cross-culturally. Sorry, no pictures for this one, but don’t let that keep you from reading!

Things often don’t work out as I expect, probably because as a North American, my expectations are often very different than the culture. So when my friend Nah asked me to go visit his English class so that his students could practice conversing with a native speaker, I was expecting a small group of kids like the 3 friends I teach twice a week. Instead, he ended up taking me to a language school, and I visited 4 or 5 full classrooms of kids. It was actually really fun to have a reason to speak English with people. It was also fun, though, to see how surprised the kids were that I could understand what they said to each other before they got up the courage to ask me a question in English. The kids had the chance to ask me whatever questions they wanted. Most of them were predictable: What is your name? Where are you from? Do you have a boyfriend? (People—not just children—love that last one…I can usually count on a kindly adult older than me asking “How old are you?” and then inquiring about my marriage or relationship status.) But then there was also the question from a preteen girl, “You are very beautiful. What do you eat?” I chuckled and was about to move on to the next question when Nah informed me that the girl was waiting for an answer. I said bread, milk and sticky rice.

But the other reason I like this story is because I think it shows something really important about Lao culture: volunteerism. I am constantly impressed by how much people (especially young people) volunteer their time for the good of others or cheerfully help out their neighbors. Nah works all day at his office job, and then 3 nights a week, he teaches English to kids at this language school. He may get paid a little for it, I don’t know, but it’s probably not much. It’s the same with Mittapab, the volunteer group I work with. The ones who started the group were mostly volunteers at youth or child development centers, and now they are involved with our peace group as well as their day jobs. Many of our other volunteers are university students. As I think back to life as a student, I don’t remember myself or most other students being this genuinely interested in volunteering their time to make their community better, even at a school like EMU which really emphasizes “service learning” and even makes it a part of the curriculum.

Ok, so this next story is kind of embarrassing, but if I have learned anything in the past year, it is that the more I think I’m learning of this language and culture, the more I realize how much I still don’t know. As soon as I feel like I’m getting a handle on things, say understanding the students like in the last story, something happens to take me down a notch. Recently I went to a hair salon to get my hair cut. I went to a place where I kind of know some of the women from the Lao church I go to. I’m still not sure exactly how it happened, but it was some combination of not wanting to be rude or pushy and having a language mix-up with the words for “cut” and “straighten.”  To make a long story short, I finally walked out of there an hour and a half later, my hair having been washed twice, blown dried twice, thinned, and almost straightened (but that was immediately aborted when I realized my mistake). Ironically, after all of that, not cut, my original intention. The lesson learned? Several:

1. It’s a good idea to look in a dictionary or ask a friend about the vocabulary you might need before you go into a new situation. Motions and talking around things don’t always do the trick. The word that I thought was a more specific word for “cut” was actually the word for “straighten.”
2. I have become more passive. My mom will hate to hear this, but I’ve actually become less assertive over the past months. Assertiveness is just not a cultural value here. And I’ve realized that I don’t actually need to have things my way nearly as much as I thought—no, I didn’t get a haircut, but I’m happy with my hair and with the chat that I had with Pawn. Besides, if I spoke up every time that someone did something in a way that I thought was ridiculous, everyone would think I was ridiculous. Yet I realized today that the coping skills of going with the flow and trusting that things I don’t understand at the time will soon become clear that have usually served me well over the past year can sometimes be maladaptive. At certain points, I thought something might be amiss, but I assumed that she just did things differently than I was used to. But no, I accidentally told her I wanted my hair straightened.
3. As confirmed by other experiences as well, Lao people are unfailingly patient and gracious, even when you tell them the wrong thing and they have to do everything all over. As I was leaving, Pawn said I could come over anytime and hang out with them. For that graciousness, I am very grateful.

Flower vendors in Hanoi

When I saw that I hadn’t posted for 4 months, I almost couldn’t believe it. Time is going so fast. The good part is that I think that means I’m positively involved in life here, but I feel like I’ve been very delinquent in pursuing my goals of keeping in touch with people at home and introducing you all to Laos. When Matt and I vacationed in Vietnam recently, I realized that I was jealous of the MCC workers who got to show us around their adopted country and tell us about this place that they have come to love. So since this is the best outlet I have to impart my love of Laos and its people and culture to all of you, I’ve made a resolution of blogging more often. But since I got back recently from 2 weeks in Vietnam and have lots of observations and experiences to share from that, this first post of my renewed effort at communication will be about Vietnam.

Other than some travel in Thailand in April, this was my first extended time out of Laos since I arrived. And Vietnam felt very different, partly because of being tourists there for more time than in Thailand and partly because Lao and Thai cultures are very similar. I was surprised at how dissimilar Vietnamese culture seemed compared to Lao culture. The following is simply from my limited experience, and my two weeks as a tourist certainly don’t qualify me as an expert.

motorbike traffic in Hanoi

In Vientiane, waiting in traffic at all will trigger laments from Lao people about how much traffic has increased in the last few years. So the many cars and millions of motorbikes in Hanoi made simply arriving in Hanoi kind of overwhelming. The first night (oh alright, the first few days) I was terrified of crossing the street (because you just kind of need to put yourself out there and expect people to drive around you), but I got better. One big cultural difference that many people comment on is how much more assertive (aggressive?) people are. Granted, the pace in Laos is more snail-like than anything, and tourists like to joke about having to wake up napping tuk-tuk drivers to get a ride anywhere. Well, in Hanoi (especially if you happen to be white), you get pelted with “Hello. Motorbike?” or “Hello! Cyclo?” every 20 seconds or so. I’m not exaggerating. I did finally decide to try a cyclo, which was sufficiently awkward (the slow-moving vehicle exposed to the world attracts lots of staring and laughter), but also very fun.

driver with very strong legs and me on display in a cyclo for all of this little coastal town to see

Our first day in Hanoi (before we knew how to refuse such things), a fruit vendor insisted that we wanted to take pictures modeling her vendor’s gear. And buy some of her pineapple (overpriced of course). So it goes. Can you tell I felt a little silly?

with the friendly vendor. if you can't tell what i'm holding, look over her shoulder.

Another thing that is not an exaggeration is the crazy cargo some people transport by motorbike (everything from live chickens to stacked furniture to a family of five). I got a picture of a mild example.

Part of what made for a great trip and a better understanding of Vietnam was our wonderful SALT program friends who spent the past year in Hanoi. Hannah and Rosie showed us around, introduced us to some delicious Vietnamese and Rosie’s host family, and swapped stories with us about our respective experiences this year. At points being a tourist felt really strange, since it is basically the opposite of what we have been striving to do all year, so besides the fun of meeting new friends, it was lovely to actually know some people in Vietnam and be able to hear their perspective on things we were experiencing. (“This women glared at me. Did I offend her?” Things like that.)

L-R Rosabeth, me, Matt, and Hannah

Probably the time I felt the weirdest about my tourist status was when we spent a day and night on a boat with about 15 other Westerners. I went through a bit of culture shock just thinking, “All these people speak fluent English. Many of them are even close to my age. But I have no idea how to relate to them. What do you do when it isn’t a challenge to communicate and you supposedly have similar cultures?” I got over it though, and managed to have a great time. It was pretty difficult with gorgeous rocky cliffs jutting out of the clear water and a star-filled sky to gaze at in the middle of nowhere.

beautiful Halong Bay - but not as good as in real life!

posing with the gorgeous sunset

Matt and I both got up the courage to jump into the water from the top deck of the boat. Scary!

Overall, a great trip.

with my three students- Baiyan, La and Hak

Except for my youngest years when I just wanted to be like my mom, I’ve never really pictured myself as a teacher in my future life. So it feels kind of strange to me that 3 people call me Aajaan  Fa (teacher, plus my nickname Fa), and that I really am teaching them English 2 nights a week. Even stranger is the fact this is actually the activity that I’m most passionate about doing right now. I have lots of other passions, but somehow teaching these three girls and studying Lao with Khamla feels so satisfying. I think that’s mostly because of the relationships I’m developing with all of them and the progress I can already see in their language learning and  in my own.

learning Lao traditional dance (fawn) with La

These girls are so excited to learn, so they are really fun to teach. I am also enjoying getting to know them and seeing that these three girls who were always so timid when I used to come visit Khamla are now really comfortable with me. We joke around a lot. Admittedly, I don’t always understand what they are saying, but I feel good vibes.

Lao dance, with Khamla's family's shop in the background

Learning Lao with Khamla is going well too. Working with my peace group really motivates me to learn the language better. I just feel like there is so much more I could do if I could just understand everything that people are saying, and if everything I prepare for workshops or say at meetings didn’t have to be translated by my coworkers.

So I’m trying, and I do feel like I’m improving. One funny story, though. Lao is such an easy language in some ways (no verb conjugation, usually the same word for the verb and the noun forms, written phonetically), but so difficult in other ways. One night Khamla and I were working on learning the names of family members, very important in Lao culture.

Unfortunately, the word Bu has very different meanings, depending on what tone you say it with. So instead of saying the very logical “The grandfather is married to the grandmother,” I ended up saying, “The crab is married the the grandmother.” Unsurprisingly, Khamla got quite a kick out of this. This kind of thing happens to me all the time (and probably much more often than I realize, because Lao people are unlikely to comment on it unless they know you well). Actually, part of why this story is funny to me is because at the time, I was just tired and didn’t think that what I had said was that amusing, and wasn’t too thrilled that Khamla was practically falling out of her chair laughing at me. But I soon got my sense of humor back, and realized that this is exactly the kind of thing I want to laugh about (and usually do).

La and Aajaan Fa

Anyway, now that I don’t live with my host family anymore, these four girls are kind of like my new family. I know I can stop by anytime, and I usually eat dinner there at least once a week. It’s nice to feel like I truly belong somewhere.

If you don’t recognize this person, don’t worry. Even my immediate family members had some trouble.

i know, the black hair makes it confusing

I just had to put these on here, because I think they are so amusing. Back in December, my friend Tik and I decided to try out one of the many photo studios. It seems to be a popular pasttime of Lao girls to go get pictures taken like this, and Tik had never done it, so we got brave and checked it out. It was great fun, but I just have to say it: the makeup was obscene. I don’t think I’ve EVER worn that much makeup, not even stage makeup for plays in high school. It was actually really scary, because I took pictures of myself when I got home, and I looked like Britney Spears. Not cool.

me in a Lao wedding dress and Tik in a more modern outfit. (both of us in crazy heels)

The black hair thing is interesting too. I didn’t understand most of what the hair stylist was saying, so when she pulled out a spray can and pointed to the knot of fake hair I was going to wear, I thought maybe she was going to spray paint that. But no, she definitely sprayed ME. After that, I didn’t even recognize myself in the mirror.

very polite Lao girl

Just a side note: that outfit didn’t actually fit me. They very resourcefully strapped on the shirt with rubber bands and covered up the problem areas with the scarf. Lao girls really are that small. Being the shortest one in a group of friends and feeling thin is a thing of the past. On the other hand, I feel so powerful actually being taller than some people. Plus, I’m grateful to not stick out in yet ANOTHER obvious way–it’s nice to fit in a little bit.

I do like taking pictures of myself (though not as much as certain friends of mine), but mainly this was fun because it was with Tik.  She used to be my Lao teacher, but even though I’m not studying with her anymore, she has become a really great friend–someone I can really talk to, which is such a blessing. She’s also (not surprisingly) the person whose Lao I understand the best (and she has practice trying to understand people’s attempts at Lao), so I’ve had some of my best and deepest conversations in Lao with her.

my living room decorated for Christmas

Dear friends and family,

 

 

New Year’s greetings from Laos. It was going to be Christmas, but you can see how well that worked. J

 

the fountain at Patuxay–from when I went with my family shortly before I moved out (I actually didn’t mean to put this photo in the post, but it’s pretty, so it can stay.)

Celebrating Christmas in a Buddhist culture and tropical climate felt more different than I expected. Yet sometimes I forget how different it is that our MCC staff Christmas party was held outside sitting on straw mats and that I recited my role of the angel in Lao, not English. Things like that seem like such a part of normal life now, after 4 months. I’ve spent only a third of the past year in Laos, but since it is my life now, it’s almost hard to remember what it felt like to live in Washington, D.C. or to be finishing my senior year of college, or to be living at home and visiting friends over the summer. But when I realize that I’ve gotten to have all of these rich experiences in the space of one year, I feel very blessed.

getting to know some of the daughters of MCC staff at the MCC Christmas party

Air as Santa at the staff party

Two nights before Christmas, I got a call from my host mom last minute inviting me to go to church to see the girls dance for a Christmas program they were doing. Nampung had been showing me the Chinese dance that she was practicing for this for at least the past month or two, so I went, even though I was tired. It was quite the production. I was so proud of those girls you would think they were my daughters. Some of the youth put on a play that seemed to be about how Jesus is the only one who can release you from your burdens. I can’t be sure since I didn’t catch most of the words, but I have been amazed at how not being able to rely on verbal communication has made me much more observant of other forms. They handed out numbers to everyone and raffled off lots of gifts–everything from pillows to candy. It was basically a big party. The most memorable part, though, was that the electricity went out. Twice. The second time for 10 or 15 minutes. That’s actually really unusual in my experience, at least in the city, but the leaders of the program took took it in stride, as I have often noted (with amazement) that Lao people tend to do. They just sang songs and danced in the dark until the lights came back on. Then they cheered and resumed the program.

Ben trying on Amy's and my gifts from Debi

Christmas Day was spent with other MCCers. We drank Ovaltine (with lots of sweetened condensed milk, it’s my new favorite food) and got really addicted to a 3D jigsaw puzzle of the Taj Mahal. We also cooked a lot of food and listened to lots of cheesy Christmas music. It was a wonderful way to celebrate, but doesn’t make as good of a story as other parts of my Christmas here, so I’ll move on.

One of my coworkers, Somchit, working the cookie cutters. I'm "supervising."

The day after Christmas, I went to what I thought was a concert at my host sister’s school. It ended up being more of a talent show for all the middle school students, and there weren’t as many other family members as I expected. So at first it was a bit awkward to be there, but I’m becoming surprisingly comfortable with the feeling of being out of place, so I had a good laugh about that. It was quite amusing to see a bunch of 12-year-olds dancing hip-hop and singing Thai pop songs and a few English Christmas songs that they learned in English class!

The day after Christmas, I showed up at my host sister’s school for what I thought was a Christmas concert that many family members would be attending. It turned out that I was there 2 hours early, and the event was actually more of a talent show for all the middle school kids that not many family members attended (and certainly no foreigners!). The first few minutes of people asking why I was there and staring at me in surprise were fairly awkward, but I was soon able to let go of my discomfort and just enjoy the festive (and hilarious) combination of Thai pop karaoke, hip-hop group dance routines and English Christmas songs. I’m sure that much of the reason that I was able to feel comfortable with feeling so out of place was because of the graciousness of my host sister in rushing over to sit beside me and introducing me to all her curious friends. It is also exciting, though, that while it was a reminder that I will never blend in in Laos, that fact didn’t bother me–I was satisfied with being myself.

And now tonight is New Year’s Eve already, and I’m sure that will bring other adventures! Sabaidee Bee Mai! (Happy New Year!)

Namfone with her glasses, heart, and bouquet. We enjoyed playing with all the gifts my mom sent for my host sisters, but the pipe cleaners were especially exciting.

About two weeks ago, I moved out of my host family’s house and into a cute, comfortable house where I will be living for the rest of my time here with Wendy, another MCCer. So far, I have really enjoyed the chance to have some alone time after 3 months of being with people almost constantly, especially near the end of my time with my host family, when I was trying to spend as much time with them as possible. It is also wonderful to have more freedom (especially now that I have a motorbike license) to go out in the evenings and do things with friends and to host friends at my house. So I’m seeing the benefits of my new living situation. Yet at the same time, I was very sad to leave my host family. Besides being such a significant part of my experience in Laos so far, I have grown to love them more than I would have thought possible in just a few months. So here are some pictures of them. These are from Lao National Day in early December. Everyone has the day off, so our whole family went to a waterfall. The actual waterfall part turned out to be tiny, but it was a beautiful and relaxing place to spend the afternoon.

posing with Nampung

Disclaimer: I actually wrote this post in November and forgot to post it. That probably won’t surprise too many of you.

Somehow life has gotten a lot busier in the last month. I stopped going to Lao language class full time in the beginning of October, so since then I’ve been slowly figuring out what my job entails and how to do it. I’ll give my quick explanation of my job now, because when I told most of you what I would be doing here, it was before I had much of an idea what it would actually entail. So basically, I am an advisor to a group of young adult (mostly university students) volunteers that formed about a year ago with the aim of learning about conflict transformation and teaching the concepts to schoolkids. My main focus, at least for the next few months, is on creating a more standardized curriculum to train the volunteers and also one for them to use to work with kids. I will also be planning and leading training sessions for the volunteers and contributing to group planning meetings. The meetings are good, although frustrating because I always end up wishing I could just speak Lao fluently and not need to burden the Lao MCC staff with translating for me. Even that frustration is good, though, because it gives me lots of motivation to study hard and to push myself to practice speaking Lao with my host family and whenever else I have the opportunity.

I have several transportation stories to share with you. I think both of them explain a lot about my experience here. The first one happened over a month ago, and the second one happened just a few days ago. I share these experiences not to complain (really, they were more funny than frustrating), but just to try to describe something about my daily life here, and how it is different from in the States.

Since I don't have pictures of these stories, I'll show you this amazing job that some MCC staff did of loading furniture onto a truck to move to Wendy's and my new house. It required 2 people riding in the back the whole way to keep the sofa on its perch, but it worked.

this actually happened a few weeks ago. amy (SALTer) and i had planned to ride bike to the American Embassy to find out more about voting with absentee ballots. Well guess what–it was raining. i waited at language school for awhile for it to stop, but it didn’t. so i eventually ventured out to find a poncho and meet up with amy. ok, this story is so much funnier if you can picture my bike (my 12-year-old host sister’s bike, actually). it is pink, and says hello kitty all over it, and is very miniature. so i rode through the rain (uphill) and stopped at every little shop to inquire about ponchos. unfortunately, i didn’t know the lao word, so i had to resort to motions, which always makes you feel really dignified and in control. none of the shops had them, although i had heard that as soon as it starts raining, everyone puts out the ponchos. i did eventually find one, although i learned later that i had payed close to 3 times more than a friend did (i knew i was being overcharged, but not by that much!). i went to meet amy, and we enjoyed thinking of how falang (foreign, which also has the connotation of not fitting in at all to a ridiculous extent) we must look to passersby, as we stood with our bikes in the rain–me in my poncho, and her in her bike helmet (no one wears those here) trying to read our map.
 
we made it to the embassy for the event (most of which wasn’t terribly helpful, but there was good food at the end) and met some nice Mormon folks. by the way, it was so strange to hear American english spoken by people i didn’t already know! (the foreigner community here is pretty small). anyway, when the event was over, it was dark and still raining, so bikes were not a safe option, and we therefore headed out to the street to find a tuk tuk. we ended up chatting in Lao with a guard for one of the buildings. we were in really silly/crazy moods by then, so i think he found us highly amusing. we decided that with both our bikes, we would need a pretty big tuk tuk. the one we found was actually the smallest one i’ve ever seen–about 3 foot by 3 foot in the passenger space. as we bargained with the driver, we talked to each other in English, since we thought he couldn’t understand. it turned out he could speak better English than most tuk tuk drivers, and understood pretty much everything we were saying to each other, so we all had a good laugh about that. he stuffed amy’s bike in the tuk tuk and we both wedged beside it, with my bike hanging on the back keeping hers in place. the driver was a lot of fun, and liked to joke around with us. he also let us surf radio stations, so we got to listen to a variety of Thai pop music and Lao traditional music. he apparently really likes to blare his radio, because my ear was about blasted off.
 
so that’s my story. i’m sorry if it’s the kind of story that you had to be there for, but believe me, at the time it was all truly hilarious. even getting wet and getting the falang price for the poncho. it was an adventure, and i loved it.

Ok, now for the motorbike licenses story…

After waiting several months for our work visas to come through and learning how to drive motorbikes, we foreign staff were finally ready to take the test to get our licenses, so MCC set up an appointment for us to take the test. The process was delayed several times by multiple things along the way, but I’ll spare you the tedious details. J Anyway, all of our application papers were finally submitted, and we were given appointments at 7 am on a Tuesday morning. Most of us were naïve enough to hope that we would be the only ones there at that early hour, and could each drive around in big circles, figure eights, and then little circles and be out of there by 8:00 with our newly-acquired licenses in hand.

Well actually, it was more like this: we arrived soon after 7:00 along with the hundred or so other people, and all received bright orange pinnies with our number on them. We received word that something would actually start about 8, so we passed the time by buying breakfast (sticky rice in bamboo) and finding a bathroom (a process which also involved finding suitable leaves to use for toilet paper). Around 8:45, we were informed that, in addition to the actual driving test, we would have to answer questions about different traffic signs. I hadn’t heard about this before, so of course I hadn’t studied, and the thought of trying to do it in Lao was rather terrifying. Different times during the last few months something has made me think of visitors to the U.S. (immigrants, exchange students), and how much more difficult their experiences must be than mine, especially with language barriers. This was one of those times. As all one hundred or more people gathered in the small room (and the big garage door slammed behind us locking us in), I thought about how much more nervous I would be if I were a Lao person in the U.S., where people are comparatively unfriendly (even hostile) to foreigners and don’t make any exceptions for them, having to take the test in English without the help of my handy Lao MCC staff translator.

After that group meeting, everyone headed outside to figure eight on the cement for the driving test. We MCCers actually had the first numbers to be called, but we opted to wait and see how others did with everyone watching them and oohing and aahing–both for successes and mistakes. It also gave us a chance to practice, which meant edging your motorbike into the practice court along with the other 5 or 6 six people who had already managed to fit into the about 10 x 20 foot space. Then together, by some unspoken rule you would try to figure out whether you would all practice the big oval, the small circle, or the figure eight part of the test, or else you would get in each other’s way and not be able to move. So, after all of that, I pretty nervous by the time my turn came to try to drive the course without putting a foot down. but….I did it!! I could barely believe it, and I was shaking for at least 20 minutes afterwards, but I did it! And all of the Lao people there watching (mostly men) were very considerate, and held back with their comments a bit while us foreigners drove, which I appreciated immensely. It was actually like having a bunch of fans that you know are rooting for you.

So the moral of this story is that things sometimes feel crazy here, but somehow, they always work out, and I’m learning to trust that.

Namphone and Nampung being silly

Okay, now that I finally took some pictures of my host family, I want to post them. These girls are so silly, and it has been a joy to realize in the last few weeks that I feel so much more comfortable living with this family than I did near the beginning.

With Peng and Nampung

Namphone and Nampung absolutely LOVE Dutch Blitz. Every day they beg, “Lin (play) game Bliss?” I’m usually happy to oblige. I’ve also taught them Egyptian Ratscrew, another fast card game that they also love. Nampung is learning English in school, and is very sweet with translating something for me when I need it. I try to only communicate in Lao as much as possible, though. Almost every night she checks over my Lao homework. The first time I read something in Lao for her she was really excited!

visiting That Luang with my family

One Saturday recently we had a marathon day of shopping at Lao-ITECC (the mall that’s only open at the end of the month when people get their paychecks), visiting the beautiful golden stupa of That Luang, and climbing up the Patuxay monument for the view. Another Saturday was my host mom’s birthday, so we spent most of the day cooking delicious food for the party later in the day. I can’t remember the Lao names of things, but I helped to make fried veggie balls and Vietnamese bundles of meat, egg, carrot, and cilantro wrapped up in lettuce and tied with a green onion. Sep lai! (Very delicious!)

I don't THINK my host mom was actually angry about this picture

Peng and me outside our house

Well, this post is a little short on words, but I think the pictures pretty much say it all anyway. I’m sad that I’ll be leaving my host family in a few weeks.

This past weekend, the MCC Lao staff went on retreat to Nongkhai province in Thailand. With the Lao staff’s families, there were about 45 of us. We traveled in four vans across the Mekong River to Thailand. It wasn’t far, but suddenly cars were driving on the left side of the road, we had to use baht (a 33 to 1USD exchange rate) instead of kip (8,000 or so to 1USD exchange rate) to buy things, and we could tell even just from the quality of the roads that we were entering a country that is more developed than Laos. It was hard to believe that we were staying along the same river that runs beside Vientiane.

View of Mekong – I enjoyed seeing a view like this both mornings before breakfast

Saturday morning we visited a wildlife refuge, but the highlight for most people was actually seeing a rubber plantation. The explanation was in Lao, but I learned afterwards that producing rubber is a relatively new cash crop in the area, and, at least in Laos, it is controversial because rice farmers are losing their land and forests are being cut down to plant “orchards” of rubber trees.

Lao city folk fascinated by the process of tapping the rubber tree

We ate lunch together Lao style, meaning sitting on mats on the floor. By the way, an important cultural side note is that in more formal settings than this, it is very rude to point your feet at anyone.

The group eating lunch together

After lunch, most of us headed up the mountain to see the view. The trip was made more exciting by rickety wooden stairs leading up the mountain and around the side. I was rather sweaty, but it was more than worth it for the gorgeous view!

the beautiful view from the mountain

path along the mountain

As breathtaking as the view from the mountain was, my true highlight of the weekend was waterfall we visited after that. Most Lao people don’t really use swimming suits, so I felt completely comfortable jumping fully clothed. It wasn’t very deep, but sliding around on the slick rocks was pretty exciting. Actually, the best part was seeing a rainbow through the mist of the waterfall. Or maybe it was having a splashing battle with my Lao coworkers’ kids or seeing the playful side of everyone including one of the co-directors of MCC Laos, who decided we should all slide down the rocks holding hands (which was not too successful). Plus, a bunch of Lao teenagers were there sliding around and falling all over each other when we were, and they loved it when I asked to take their picture. So I guess I don’t know which was my favorite part! The joy of the natural beauty and of the people there made me feel so alive.

people getting soaked in the waterfall

Lao teenagers posing for the foreigner

Continuing the playful note, the next picture is of a group game we played the next day. The woman on the right is the co-director I was talking about. Coincidentally, she also “killed” me in the game of Assassins we played. They are passing the rubber band to the next person with their straws. The game was highly competitive and equally hilarious.

Madame Hien passing a rubberband to another staff person

Having so much fun together was a great way to get to know my coworkers and their families. I feel a lot more comfortable around everyone after this weekend. It was especially fun to get to know the younger staff. Souk (in the picture below) is the office manager, and only one year older than me. I was also ready to get out of Vientiane and be in a different kind of setting for awhile, so the retreat came at a good time.

with Souk in the van

]]> http://arielinlaos.wordpress.com/2008/09/26/best-staff-retreat-ever/feed/ 5 arielinlaos img_0889 img_0908 img_0926 img_0953 img_0955 img_0974 img_0968 img_0989 img_0891 http://arielinlaos.wordpress.com/2008/09/13/patuxay-baci-birthda/ http://arielinlaos.wordpress.com/2008/09/13/patuxay-baci-birthda/#comments Sat, 13 Sep 2008 10:53:35 +0000 arielinlaos http://arielinlaos.wordpress.com/?p=16 ]]>

The past week or two were full of many firsts: going to the Lao National Circus, bargaining at the market, meeting my host family and moving in there, going to the Lao Evangelical church and making many friends there, and visiting several Lao homes, plus a birthday party. Unfortunately, now I’ve taken too long to create another blog post, and now too much has happened to tell about it all in detail.

I’ll say more about this when I have pictures to go along with the words, but I should at least say that I moved to my host family’s house last Saturday, and things have been going well. We are a house of all women: my host mom (age 39–it isn’t impolite to ask a Lao person his or her age, which is probably related to the fact that you gain more respect the older you get) and her two daughters (12 and and her younger sister and her daughter (4). I’m glad to be living with a family, and they are very nice. The girls and my host mom are all gone from about 7:15 am to 6 pm, though, so I feel like I don’t actually get to spend that much time with them. I did get to have a lesson in Lao dance from the 12-year-old, though, when I found out that it is her favorite subject in school.

After language school one day this week, I rode one of my little host sisters bikes to Patuxay (a.k.a. The Monument). Lao people probably thought I was crazy, because I was a foreigner riding a child-size, pink Hello Kitty bike, but that’s ok. It was built in the 60s and was never actually finished, but now is an iconic spot in the city, and is surrounded by a park where many Lao people go in the evenings to watch the fountain lights display with Lao music in the background or walk the loop around the park. Lao people tend to really like to exercise, which was actually pretty surprising to me, I guess because of how laid-back the culture is. So anyway, Patuxay is one of my favorite places to get away to and people-watch. When I was there, I ended up having a conversation with a Lao university student who was selling phone cards there. He is studying English and was delighted that I was studying Lao, so we practiced together in both languages for close to an hour. It’s funny, I feel like I’m a lot more open to random encounters like that here than I am in the States. I don’t know if that is me changing and growing, or just the difference between the two cultures, or both. When the second stranger came over and wanted to talk, I kind of regretted the fact that as a Falang (foreigner) I really stand out and get a lot of attention, but it comes with the territory, I’m learning.

Patuxay as seen from my tuk-tuk going to language class

Another exciting thing this week was attending a birthday baci/party for fellow MCCer Matt, hosted by his host family. So this was exciting because I got to see another Lao family’s house and meet them and bacis are a very integral part of Lao culture. Lao people do it at any major event like a wedding or when a child is born, and apparently, also for birthdays. Actually, MCC had one for all of us newbies last week. The best way I can describe it is a blessing ceremony that comes out of the Buddhist/Animist traditions. There is a “tree of life” symbol made out of banana leaves and marigolds (or other flowers) and surrounded by sticky rice, chicken, money, and other symbols of blessing. All the participants sit on the floor around it, and the leader chants a blessing in Sanskrit. Then everyone takes small strings from the “tree” and says a blessing to the person of honor (and then other people) as they tie the string around that person’s wrist. This baci also included the fun twist of Matt’s host mother throwing handfuls of uncooked rice at everyone at what I assume were appropriate points in the chant.

The caption didn’t work for some reason, but this is the “tree” (that I helped to make! There are apparently pretty specific rules to follow, like how many marigolds on each stick.) with the baci strings hanging from it and the fruit and goodies surrounding it. Sticky rice is always served in woven baskets like that one on the ground.

Matt receiving a blessing from the baci leader, fellow MCCers Ben and Amy looking on

By the way, if you’re single, people blessing you at a baci will most likely wish for you many Lao husbands or wives. Also, I just want to add that it is a really humbling experience to receive encouragement and good wishes from so many people at once. I wonder how different American culture would be if we welcomed our guests or new coworkers like that.

And like people around the world, the Lao like to have fun. Matt’s family provided an amazing amount of food, and I loved attempting to sing Lao karaoke and dancing with all his host sisters, especially Kat. Prep for the party was lots of fun too: the little kids LOVED helping us blow up the balloons.

dancing with Kat, with Wendy, Matt, Amy, and Pontif in the background

Oh, one more thing…I’m wearing my first sihn (Lao skirt) in this picture.

hot (and red) after dancing with the host sisters